First World Dating Problems

Discovered by someone who’s new to the dating scene of today.

Alright, so we all have “first world problems” to worry about. As actually terrible as that term is, it’s gone viral and is at times the best way to explain some of conflicts we face in everyday life – like being “too warm” or “too full” …

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on the dating scene, as I just got out of a two-year relationship. There was some time in between, but before that relationship, I was in one of just under a year. I haven’t really been on the “wining and dining” dating scene since about 2009. It doesn’t sound like too long ago, but a lot has changed in past 5 years. I’m new to todays dating scene, and in my few experiences I’ve noticed there really are some “first world” dating problems…

Automatic everything: It is the standard now to have automatic hand dryers and sinks in every public bathroom. I’ve noticed two main problems with this. The first one, when you’re trying to fix your makeup close to the bathroom mirror, and the automatic sink keeps going off and you end up with a soaked shirt. Or two, the hand dryer is broken (which they always are) and there aren’t any paper towels (which there never are) and you seem to be wearing a light-coloured shirt (that would show water stains). So, your two options are to leave the bathroom with dirty hands, or wet hands, which is creepy on a date. First world problem.

The food move:  This one requires little explanation, and we’ve all been there – guys and girls included. You’re on a first date, and you “decide to meet for drinks.” A lot of the time people forget to clarify the food situation before the date. Will you be splitting appies? Will you be each getting a meal? Will you split a dessert? Or is it really just drinks? Some people prepare for this by eating before the date, so that they are full in case there isn’t any food, or some people don’t eat enough before the date. So, you order food if they order food to be polite, but you’re already full and end up feeling sick. Or, you don’t eat enough beforehand, then there’s no food involved and you end up getting totally drunk on an empty stomach. Too much food, or too much booze – either way, a total first world problem.

Going splits: It’s common to split the price on dates these days, or to at least let the girl pay for one round. The majority of guys still like to pay full on the first date, but as you get more comfortable with each other it’s natural to want to pay for some of your own things. It’s a problem when you genuinely intend to pay for something, and they guy accepts your offer but you forgot to get cash on the way there. Just your luck, they also don’t take debit, or the debit machine is down, and now you look like you’ve planned this all along so that he has to cover you. First world problem.

The tinder situation: Okay, I’m not putting down tinder in the slightest. It’s really becoming a common way to meet people. However, it is totally normal to be a bit embarrassed about having it on your phone, or advertising that you are on it, etc. On a date, put your cell phone on the table, and a message lights up in clear view “YOU HAVE A TINDER MATCH!” Embarrassing. Stupid smart phone. First world problem, for sure.

The speed text challenge: Again, technology related. Say if you’re on a date – (whether it’s going really good or really bad) there is undoubtedly a temptation to reach for your phone.  The window of opportunity presents itself – and he gets up to go to the bathroom. In the next five minutes, you have to make the attempt to dig out your phone, and text back as many people as possible with how the date is going before he comes and sits back down. Such a first world problem.

Today’s high fashion: For the people who are up with the latest fashion (which seems like everyone these days…) it’s clear there are quite a few unisex trends going on. There’s nothing worse than showing up to a date, and looking like a couple who has planned to match your outfits for a family photo. It seems that Nudie jeans, desert boots and a military jacket may not be the safe first date outfit you thought it may be. He could very well turn up wearing exactly the same thing. It’s happened, and it will happen again. There are too many stylish people in this world. First world problem.

Well, I’m going to keep trucking along through this new dating world I’ve been exposed to. I’m sure I will discover a lot more challenges along the way, but it’s been fun!


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