“I’m that girl beside her who will let you keep talking no matter how bored I get. I won’t contribute much to the conversation so if you like talking about yourself you’ll love it. I will suffer silently. “

There are some profound differences between myself and my friend Nat. Especially when it comes to dating.

Here’s an example of being on a mediocre first date with Nat compared to a mediocre first date with Kylie.

Scenario #1.

The end of the date is rolling around. We both attempt to split the bill and you say “No, no, I’ve got this.” We both graciously agree.

Then you say, “This was great we should do it again sometime.”

Nat will raise her eyebrow at you and say with more conviction than necessary, “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

You will momentarily feel like someone slapped you in the face, shocked by her skillful eyebrow raise and boldness, but you will go home that night and know for certain that there will not be a date number two.

Imagine the freedom the next morning when you don’t have to worry about what to text her, or if you’ll hear from her, or what if the date didn’t go as good as you thought?

It didn’t. She told you so herself. Now you can move on.

If you’re on a date with myself, Kylie, and I don’t particularly like you, I won’t have the balls to say so. When you say, “We should do this again”, I will smile kindly at you which you’ll mistake for attraction. You’ll think I want to sleep with you; I don’t.

I’ll say something like “Ya definitely” or “That was really nice” and of course you’ll believe me.

Don’t. I don’t mean it and I’m just a big chicken. If I actually like you I’ll probably have made a fool of myself by this point and you’ll have no doubt that I’m smitten.

I’m an awful person because rather than giving you the freedom that Nat has, I’ll leave you wondering until you finally get the hint at my lack of iMessages.

Scenario #2. 

You’re at a pub on Friday night. You catch Nat’s eye and mistake her confident gaze as an invitation.

You quickly realize your mistake when despite your lame pick up line or friendly banter she doesn’t even crack a smile. She will let you stand there for approximately one minute before she’ll say something like: “You can leave now sir.”

I know because I’ve witnessed this.

I’m that girl beside her who will let you keep talking no matter how bored I get. I won’t contribute much to the conversation so if you like talking about yourself you’ll love it. I will suffer silently.

I may or may not give you my number. I may or may not ignore your text. Either way you’re wasting your time but I’m too nice and cowardly to say so. With Nat you will never get as far as asking for her number if she’s not interested.

The nice thing about both of us in a relationship is that there is no manipulation and no passive aggressive bullshit. There is also no yelling.

When I’m unhappy you will know it because I’ll get really quiet before calmly stating my argument and probably a list of pros and cons for each possible solution.

With Nat there is no argument because she will always win.

Despite these differences, let’s not forget that we’re both female. For all her steely eyebrow raises and cold shut downs, when Nat falls for a boy she’s just as sparkly eyed and ridiculous as the rest of us. And when the stakes go from a mediocre dating experience to a great one, Kylie’s cowardice turns into a much more decisive yes.