Written by Sasha Cox
An open letter to those playing, and getting played.
Ladies you know the type, the 27-33 year old men that inhabit our city. These guys are a few years into their careers. They are successful, smart, well-dressed, and their bank accounts are becoming more and more flushed with each pay stub.
Sounds amazing for the women of YYC, right? Well, the sad truth about this kind of man, in my experience, is the majority of them are acutely aware of their appeal and use it to their sexual advantage.
These men look at dating as a sport. They measure their allure buy how many women are currently on their “bench.” They have their A team, and for those really desperate nights when the entire roster is unresponsive, they look to their B team.
These men may actually have genuine feelings for one or more ladies on the A team. For these women, these men will have to work to convince them if they are serious about being excusive. They will take you out, treat you like a queen, and introduce you to their friends maybe even their families.
You may have been, or currently are in a relationship that exceeds the three month casual dating period. Next, you ask “Where is this going?”
If this question has been followed up by the conventional “I am wary of commitment, and need more time” response, I hate to be the bearer of bad news ladies, but chances are…as nice as this guy is treating you, he likely has one or two other women on his “bench” that he is treating just as well.
Gentlemen, if you are offended by my candour, I assure I have many male friends whose views on dating resemble this harsh depiction to a T.
Ladies if you are currently in a relationship that resembles this straightforward portrayal of events, run! You are beautiful and deserving of a real man. You deserve to be somebody’s one and only, not the MVP you may currently be earmarked as.
I myself have been on a bench or two in my day, and am guilty of turning a blind eye to it for far too long. As we all wish that if we give them more time, they will come around and realize how amazing we are. Sometimes they do, but more times than not, our spots on the bench are filled and we are retired to make room for their next rookie.
Do not take my frankness as discouragement to put yourself out there, as there are many wonderful men in our city. These words are simply to ward caution to any and all of the spectacular women out there who may be in this type of relationship.
Also, to inform the men whom are described above — this type of behaviour may make you feel like an Adonis, but by treating dating as a sport, you could be missing out on something greater and far more exhilarating than the hunt of your next conquest. Because at the end of the day the ultimate trophy after all, is love.