Written by: Lauren Steeves
Six ways to avoid fighting with your bae this holiday season
In case you haven’t heard the Christmas carols blaring in the malls, or missed the fact that Christmas has literally thrown up everywhere, I’m here to tell you “Tis the season.”
Despite still longing for summer weather and patio drinks and also wondering where the hell fall went, the holidays have arrived. A season that is sure to bring a deadly combination of debt, stress, and a whole lot of time with your future (or current) in-laws—all things that can easily tear any relationship apart.
In order to make it through the season unscathed, we’ve compiled six ways to avoid fighting with your bae over the holidays, so all can stay merry and bright.
1. Make a plan
I’m all for being spontaneous, but the holidays are not the time to do this. You need to make a firm plan on where, when and who you are going to spend each minute of holiday vacation with. Are you going to go half and half, spending Christmas Eve at his parents, and Christmas Day with hers? Or are you going to alternate years, you call 2015 and he gets 2016? Whatever your strategy is you need to nail it down, and in this case, sooner is better than later.
By not having a plan in place, you risk entering a dangerous battlefield where your significant other may feel like his or her family is getting the shaft, and let me tell you, that is not a fight you want to have. By creating a holiday plan, you even the playing field, and also have an answer for your family when they ask for the hundredth time when they are going to get to see you.
2. Bite your tongue and be jolly
Despite your feelings about his passive-aggressive mother, or her stubborn dad, you need to practice being merry all Christmas long. You need to think about how important this time is for your bae and his or her family, and be all kinds of jolly. You would want your partner to act the same way around your family, so set the drama aside and don’t let it dampen the festivities. So when your mother-in-law asks you if you’ve put on weight, you need to bite your tongue, laugh it off and pour yourself another drink.
3. Sneak some alone time
The holidays can be overwhelming—you’re rushing around from place to place seeing every possible relative along the way. So to avoid going crazy or snapping on your bae, you need to plan some downtime for just the two of you. Whether that be spooning in the morning, making a coffee (liquor) run, or sneaking off for a quickie—be sure to make your relationship a top priority too. This will give you the energy to answer the inevitable “When are you guys getting married” question, and make it out of the holidays alive.
4. Stay in the moment
It’s easy to get caught up in the massive shopping lists, the holiday parties and all the baking you need to do. Trust me, the stress is real. Before you let Santa run you over with his sleigh, you’ve got to slow things down and focus on one thing at a time. Everything will get done, I promise. So form a pact with your partner—divide and conquer the to-do list. This way you have more time for wine, and spend less time in line.
5. Make a present budget
To stress the importance of this step, I’m going to paint you a picture. It’s Christmas Day and you are exchanging gifts. He opens his present to find an expensive watch, and you begin to open your present and are trembling with excitement. You tear the wrapping paper to shreds and open the box to find… a t-shirt.
Nothing can prepare you for this moment. This moment will test every fiber of your relationship. So to avoid the horrific element of surprise, you and your partner need to set a present budget. It doesn’t have to be big, but you need to be on the same page when it comes to your gift expectations.
You’ve already got 99 problems, and gift giving shouldn’t be one.
6. Set a limit, stay within it.
Everyone knows that it’s common to over indulge during the holidays, tis the season right? Well as much as you may need your trusty liquor friend to get through dealing with all the relatives, it’s just as important to keep your drinking in check. No one wants to embarrass themselves in front of their in-laws, and have the attention shift from Nana opening her gift, to you knocking over the tree. At this point, you and your partner are no longer drunk in love—you’re just drunk. Save yourself the shame and the epic war to follow and keep your drinking in check. Your family, bae and liver will thank you.
By putting these tips into practice, I can’t guarantee that your in-laws won’t be bat-shit cray, but I can guarantee all will be calm and all will be bright with bae.