Written By: Lauren Steeves

Five things you can do on your own to reach your #relationshipgoals.

While there is a lot of chatter about what it takes to make a relationship work like compromising, listening, and spicing things up, it’s very rare for people to talk about the things we need to be doing outside of our relationships to make it work. Just because these self-practices aren’t talked about as often doesn’t mean that they are any less important. So before you start preaching about your #relationshipgoals start practicing these five tips first because they might be the deciding factor in whether or not your relationship really is in it to win it.

1. You both need friends separate from each other.

We’ve all been there before in the honeymoon stage of the relationship—you can’t keep your hands off each other and you spend all your time together. I call this a rookie mistake. Let’s be real, this always results in one person feeling smothered and the other person too obsessed to notice. So if you want your relationship to stand the test of time, you need more than just one another to rely on and to spend your time with— this is where your friends come in.

Just like Taylor has her squad, you need one too. These relationships make you more independent, give you better understanding of your own romantic relationship (like what you want or don’t want, what’s worth putting up with and what’s a deal breaker), and make you an overall happier person.

2. Me first.

While it’s important that your significant other makes you happy, he or she can’t be your only source of happiness. Relying on one person to make your life complete is completely unrealistic. You need to set your own personal goals and push yourself to become the best possible version of yourself. You’ll find once you start holding yourself accountable for your own happiness, your relationship will feel a lot less strained and your partner will feel a whole less drained.

Even Queen B says, “It is so liberating to really know what I want, what truly makes me happy, what I will not tolerate. I have learned that it is no one else’s job to take care of me but me.”

Yas Queen.

3. Push your partner to be his or her best too.

Just like you want to be the best version of yourself and pursue your goals and dreams, you also want that too of your partner. Confidence and ambition are sexy and attractive qualities in a partner, someone that’s lazy and insecure is not. So make sure you show support and encouragement when it comes to your partner’s goals. This requires actively listening when he or she is speaking, asking questions that go deeper than “How are you?” and being willing to pitch in when he or she asks for help. After all, it takes two amazing people to make one kick-ass couple.

4. Sweat it out.

Sometimes it can be hard to find the motivation and time to work out, but being active does wonders to a relationship. When times are tough, sometimes a killer workout is just what you need to help put things in perspective and provide you with a clear head. The endorphins released during a workout help relieve stress and boost your mood leaving you feeling psyched and energized.

If the rush of endorphins wasn’t enough to motivate you, you should also consider the benefits exercise has on your sex life. According to research done by Women’s Health Magazine, 46% of exercisers mentioned higher sex drives. A boost to the brain and bedroom? That’s something I think everyone can get on board with.

5. Take time for yourself.

One of the best things you can do for your relationship is to spend some time alone. Our lives have gotten so busy now that it’s harder than ever to disconnect and truly tune in to what our bodies and minds need. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to continually put others before ourselves because we end up crashing and burning–fast. So take some time at least once a week to do something truly for you. Whether that is reading a book, blasting some music, or taking a bath, you’ve got to treat yo’self.

After all, a happier “me” usually leads to a happier “we” and that’s the kind of relationship that will stand the test of time.