Not A Doctor – Part Three

The hard hitting realities about dating you've probably already told yourself but were too stupid to listen to. 


Written By: Josh Sutton

The hard hitting realities about dating you’ve probably already told yourself but were too stupid to listen to.

Where are all of the eligible men hanging out in Calgary? But actually?

Twisted? I mean, at least if I were looking for a man that’s where I would start. But in all seriousness keep your eyes open. If you see an attractive man in a spin class, just say hello! Unfortunately men have a tendency to be coy in every day settings; a man giving a stranger a compliment is no longer socially acceptable. Somewhere along the line chivalry was killed and any act of it has now been deemed creepy.

Now, under the assumption that you keep meeting men half cut or after 11:00 pm waking up next to them only to have it fall flat on an empty sexual experience, understand what you are looking for. If you are searching for more than just sex and find the guy at the end of the bar attractive, introduce yourself but don’t linger. Express your interest, get his name and number and reach out the next day. Chemistry is often explosive when vodka enters the equation. So try coffee and see where it goes.

What are your thoughts on breakup etiquette? I have a guy friend who isn’t into the girl he’s seeing but is completely avoiding telling her the truth. What’s so scary about having the “real” conversation?

It’s not scary, we are just a shitty generation of people!

We waver and linger and have so much noise going on around us. There is always hope there’s something better coming along. I am very guilty of this too. I have been in situations where whatever is happening is okay; it fills a need for the moment but I know it won’t go any further for me. If it ever comes up and the other party does want more and I don’t, honesty is key, however I rarely offer the whole truth.

If you know what you want make it known and if the other person doesn’t feel the same then you can walk away or wait it out until your something better shows up. Just understand that the person who doesn’t currently want a relationship won’t change their mind.

An ex told me I gave it up too quick, but that if I had made him wait longer than two weeks he would have been long gone. [He was an ass, I know.] But is there a magic number of dates one should wait? 

He’s likely just mad he isn’t getting that ass anymore and doesn’t want the new guy he heard about getting what he used to have. There is no number; if the chemistry is present and it feels right go for it. If the passion isn’t fiery hot wait it out until it is. No matter the length of time it is your own personal decision. One party might be ready while the other isn’t and if they have a shred of respect for that person, they will value their choice and wait it out.

Speaking of giving it up, do guys actually care about a girls “number”? 

Your number is irrelevant. Anytime I’ve been asked this I always pose a question back: What good comes of us having that information? Your past is your past and while it got you to where you are now there is no sense in dwelling on your current partners former lovers.

Got a question for the Doc? Send em’ over!


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